A woman takes to Reddit for advice on her mother who expects extravagant gifts on each of her children’s birthdays
As the saying goes, it’s better to give than to receive, but one woman took to the internet for advice on living with her family. unusual tradition of gifts who sees his own mother receive a bounty of gifts on each of her children’s birthdays.
A woman called DisposableBirthdayx96 taken from the popular “Am I the asshole?” from Reddit forum to ask her if she was wrong for not wanting to celebrate her mother on her birthday.
The 25-year-old woman explained that she was the eldest of four siblings aged 10, 16 and 18 and that every year on their birthday they had to buy their mother a present for her. thank her for giving birth to them.
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“Every year, on our birthday, our mother also receives gifts,” the woman explained. “As we get older, we are now expected to receive his monetary gifts (not cards or homemade stuff).”
The woman then said she was all for it as ‘we wouldn’t be here without her’, she has recently begun to question the practice as ‘it’s becoming less our birthday and more – so a birthday for the day our mother gave birth.”
The woman said it all came to a head recently on her own birthday. As her parents gave her much-needed clothes and tableware for her new apartment, her dad bought her mom a new MacBook while her siblings “all gave her presents too.”
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“My sister pulled me aside and said she was sorry she couldn’t buy me a lot (she bought me a sweater, I love it!) and wanted to buy me more , but our mother urged her to get [her] a certain necklace,” she explained.
“I asked how much it was and my sister said it was $300. Apparently my mom had been dropping clues for months and my sister was worried [she] would be upset and feel underappreciated if she didn’t get it.”
The woman said that shortly after her mother finished opening her presents, she ‘lost it on our mother and chewed it up’, telling her ‘I think she’s ridiculous to even want that my sister spends that much on a present.”
What an incredibly authoritative and selfish woman
She said her mother started crying before her father kicked her out. Now her mother won’t answer her calls, but her aunt – her mother’s sister – phoned her and said she was “a piece of s— for not respecting my mother and that I’m a selfish and narcissistic child to be jealous of the gifts mom received.”
Two weeks later, his mother won’t return his calls but posts inspirational quotes on Facebook “about letting go of toxicity in your life, that blood doesn’t equal family, and how hard it is to ‘to be a mother’. She said several family members, including an aunt, grandmother, uncle and two cousins, were on her mother’s side.
“I thought I was right, but now I don’t know,” she concluded.
The post drew 4,000 comments in just one day, with many suggesting the woman’s mother was narcissistic and others pointing out that there was already a day to thank mothers for giving birth to us, called Mother’s Day.
“It was her choice to carry four children and give birth to them,” wrote one of them. “Your mother seems self-centered and selfish. When it comes to toxicity in life and how blood doesn’t equal family, I think you should apply that to your mother, not you.”
“Your mother seems quite narcissistic. It’s a classic ‘WATCH ME’ attract the attention of narcs who need a constant supply of narcs,” another wrote.
“There is something wrong with your mother. You and your siblings need to end this ridiculous tradition,” said another.
“Does she give you gifts on Mother’s Day to thank you for making her a mom? I didn’t mean that,” said another, while someone another wrote, “How does this family celebrate Mother’s Day? Do each of the children receive gifts for being born?”
Others were shocked when they calculated how much gifts his mother received every year. “Her own birthday, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, wedding anniversary, four children’s birthdays. What an incredibly empowered selfish woman.”
In later responses, the woman said it was not a cultural tradition and she began to suspect it was “weird” when she was in college.
Ironically, she said her mother once shared the same tradition with her mother but stopped her “since she had kids because my parents couldn’t afford it.”
She thanked everyone for their comments. “I think that’s really eye-opening and I’m going to try and find a therapist to unload all of that.”
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